Monday, March 26, 2007

Mother Bear

I have become one - a mother bear that is. I am feeling a completely raw and primitive urge to roar loudly - and possibly use my claws a bit. I swore I wouldn't be one of those mother's who won't accept criticism of their children, so I am trying really hard to deal reasonably with Sam's preschool teacher, but the more I learn, the more I feel like grabbing her by the shoulders and giving her a good shake. And I say that in the utmost non-violent, yet mother-bearish way.
OK, so I really don't want to shake her (or be violent in any other way...) I am just so very frustrated with the way she is running Sam's ps class. First of all, he is at a ps that's part of a daycare. Last semester we didn't have any problems, but in January he moved up to the 4 yo class and small things began to bother me. Like, the new teachers wouldn't really greet him when he came or say goodbye when he left. The ps kids didn't seem involved in the projects b/c they aren't there all day/ every day like the daycare kids. He no longer brought home as many - and as cool - art projects.
Sam didn't seem too bothered and all his friends were in the class, so I didn't make a big deal out of it, though I did mention the greeting bit to the director of the dc. Following that conversation, the assistant teacher became very conscientious of greeting Sam when he arrived in the morning, so things seemed improved. Until the parent-teacher conference on Friday.....Ms Teacher gave me a two-page report on Sam, who suddenly had many areas that needed improvement. He doesn't listen to the teachers, he won't follow directions, he ignores them when they ask him to do certain things...I swear, I am trying so hard to be objective and not fall in the "oh yeah, well my kid's perfect" trap. I know Sam can be obstinate, ignore you when you talk to him, and get angry, but this teacher sounded so angry when she retold a couple of episodes where Sam had refused to move to a different seat or wouldn't answer a question. Unreasonably angry. As a ps teacher you must be prepared for 4 yo's who won't always do as you ask, no? I am so frustrated! Ah! She had to admit that he usually always sticks to the class rules and is usually a good kid but the few things she did mention that he does well, she almost mocked; i.e. he usually goes to centers that aren't messy, so he can clean up fast and get to circle time cause he likes that. Or, sure he answers some questions, but that's probably only when he likes the story.
I get angry just writing this. I know Sam is so painfully shy in bigger groups and he won't answer questions if he isn't certain of the answer. F.ex. she mentioned she had asked him what he did over the weekend and he refused to answer. Does he know what "weekend" is? "oh well, I told him 'the home days; the days when you aren't here'." And she said it to me with such anger and frustration in her voice, I can only imagine Sam shutting own at a similar confrontation. I feel like my baby is being treated unfairly because she doesn't take the time to understand him. I even checked with Sam's primary teacher at church to see if he was a problem there and nope, not at all. He also received great reviews from the teacher in the fall, so I am wondering if it's this girl who is inexperienced. Oh - I did run into another mom who had a simliar experience at p/t conference so I feel it's not just me being ureasonable. Although I read this and realize I sound a bit mean. I don't mean to gossip or be negative, I just don't know what to do with al this emotion. I want my baby to be happy and safe and treated fairly. I guess I might have to face the fact that life will have bits that are unfair and painful and I need to allow him to experience that. I just have a lot of sympathy for that momma bear right now.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

I think I remember why I used to love Sundays...

I am sitting at my computer; it's ten to seven at night and still light outside. Evan and Sam are watching "Samuel the Lamanite" and Lucas is chatting with himself in his bed while going to sleep. We've been gone most of the day; first looking at houses (blech) then at church, then a pot luck linger-longer after church and finally Sam and I stayed for a baptism. (Sam wanted to stay and see the baptism and we figured it might be good for him to see what goes on. He loved watching it - he sat up front with Wesley and the other bigger kids when Amanda was baptized and felt so grown-up.)
So it was a long day and I still need to clean the house. Yet, I feel so...I think the word is peaceful. And blessed. My family is incredible; both the monkeys in my house (all 3...;-) ) and all the other amazing people I have in my life. My friends are kind. My apartment, though small and rented, is our home, our safe and cute little home. Our new church building is beautiful, our ward is a diverse and fascinating group of people. The gospel brings me peace, even when I think I have no peace to find. It's been nice to have a little time to focus on something other than everyday life today. Yes, I think I finally remember why I used to love Sundays. Now I better work on not getting so busy with life again that I don't have time to reflect on the many blessings I have in my life.
I am reading this and I feel it doesn't quite convey what I am feeling. Oh well - the masses of people reading my blog will just have to bear with me. Heh. :-)

Friday, March 23, 2007

One


I was trying to get some b-day shots of Luke and caught this one. My precious baby!

Sad news

I found out earlier today that one of my missionary companions passed away. Bertha Samoa - my brilliant, kind, gentle and compassionate companion through the month of May 1999. I heard that she had been ill for a while with some rare skin condition, eventually going into a coma, but that is all I know at this point. I guess the good die young, eh?! I can't think of a kinder and more loving person. I'm betting she is making people feel happier in the afterlife already.

I blinked -

and my baby turned one. Today. I am a walking cliché but I CANNOT believe it's been a year. Did I not JUST drive to the hospital that Thursday morning after a night of contractions? Did I not JUST (barely) make it through the long (!) day of labor? Or bring Lucas home? Or cry when he screamed and screamed at night b/c he was hungry and still wouldn't nurse (for future reference b/c there was too much milk)? Did I not JUST take Sam and Lucas to Denmark? To the doctor for 6 week check-up? I have been completely taken over by the urge to reminisce and capitalize...I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S BEEN A YEAR!!!!!
He is so freakin' cute too; it's hard to stand :-) He babbles his little da's and ba's straight into our hearts, climbs up the stairs (and other obstacles) with complete abandon, and has recently started doing this adorable thing where he smiles at people and then snuggles his head into my shoulder. AH! Can you tell that I am absolutely and entirely in love with my child?
Happy birthday, baby. I am so grateful you came to our family!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

House-hunting disappointments

We've been looking at houses for a few months now; at first just to get an idea of what we liked and then we got hooked and kept looking "just in case" there was one we liked. Well, yesterday we actually found a house we both loved. A cute cape on 127 Tunxis in West Hartford. Mostly everything about it seemed perfect for us (even down to the non-creepy basement sans asbestos and other nasty surprises). And then it turns out that the lending programs were juuuust changed (i.e. yesterday) and we don't qualify for the rate we can afford anymore. Argh! So frustrating! I am trying to find the meaning behind the fact that we found a house we love just as we are told we can't get it - I mean, is there a greater purpose? Amusement for the fates? Or is it just mere coincidence and there is nothing more to it? I guess, I would like there to be some meaning behind it all - make sit sort of easier to deal with, because I can tell myself that there is something better for us; it wasn't meant to be, etc. Right now, I guess I just kind of fear that God isn't all that involved in house-hunting but I have an inkling that maybe He does want us to learn something from this. Maybe patience, maybe trust in Him and His plan. Maybe that lenders are unpredictable. I guess I will report on the lessons learned as time goes by. For all the possibly interested...

A new day has come....

I am finally jumping on the blogging bandwagon. Maybe this will kick start my pathetic attempts at journal-keeping into some actual journaling -- or maybe the pressure of writing something people might actually read will kick me into a severe case of writers block. We'll see...
For starters, I'll just go through the usual qualms about which language to write in. I always have these long deliberations with myself when I am scrap booking, journaling, etc - should I write in Danish or English? My parents won't really be able to read the English - and no one else will get the Danish. In reality, it probably doesn't matter because our non-exciting lives aren't that much of a pull for the broader audience. I could probably write in Swahili and nobody would care. Heh. And there was yet another long deliberation. I guess, the end result is English then - at least that way my husband can understand what I tell others about our world.